Saturday, December 29, 2007

Raising Teens in a Tough World

I mentioned before that I think it's harder raising kids today. Part of the reason is all the influences in the media and with their friends. There's so many bad examples out there for kids to see. It seems like I write so much about my 14 year old, but I guess it's because she's my main concern now. She's a pretty good girl, but at 14, she's at such an influential age. I'm trying so hard to make sure she stays good, though, I admit, sometimes she still does disappoint me.

Yesterday I took she and her friend to a movie. Her friend wanted to stop off at her house to pick up some money. Her dad forgot to leave her key outside, so she couldn't get in. She called her dad and YELLED at him. At first I didn't do anything about it. Then she kept yelling. "Where's my Key? Well thanks a lot dad! Now your going to have to give her mom $20!" It went on for a while. My eyes got wide. After she got off the phone, she kept talking bad about him. I asked her if she still could go to the movies (because my daughter wouldn't have been allowed to after that). She said she could. Then I asked her if she ever gets grounded. I told my daughter, "You know what I'm getting at." My daughter said, "I'd be grounded." That's right! My daughter's friend said she doesn't get grounded very often, and when she does, she just doesn't speak to him until he let's her off.

I always liked this friend of my daughter's. I think she's a good friend for her, but boy was I surprised to hear her treat her dad like that! I hate for my daughter (and my 3 year old in the backseat) to hear this kind of talk! I didn't think I should just sit there and listen to it without saying anything. She's in my car. I know if she was saying bad words, I wouldn't allow that in my car.

I decided to turn this into a learning experience for my daughter. Later on , when her friend was gone, I told my daughter, "If you ever talked to me like that!...". Then I told her, "Just think. Someday you have a sweet little daughter, she calls you up YELLING at you because you forgot to leave her key outside?" My daughter replied, "I'd slap her face!" OK, she definitely agreed with me. Later that night, when we were watching our Gilmore Girls, she said to me, "I can't believe how she talked to her dad!" I'm glad I made a big deal out of this. It is a big deal, and I don't want my kids to ever talk like this. Sometimes they do say things that I get mad about, but I stop right there and nip it in the bud. I'd never let it continue.

On a lighter note, this is what hubby made for me on Christmas Eve. I told him how much I liked the peppermint mocha's from Starbucks, so he looked up the recipe online and bought all the ingredients. He couldn't find the peppermint syrup, so he just bought creme de mint syrup instead and put green sprinkles on it instead of the red. It was really good. I was impressed! That's pretty romantic for him!

Here's how he made it:

Creme de Mint Mochas

Heat 8 oz. milk in mug.
Add 2 spoons cocoa mix.
Add 1 1/2 teaspoons creme de mint syrup.
Fill the rest of your mug with strong coffee or espresso.
Top with whipped cream and sugar sprinkles.


Kitty said...

Hi Maria ... I'm with you on this one. I am having a battle of wills with my son at the moment. He thinks it's funny to give me cheek - I don't think it's funny at all! I told him he needs to have some respect for the people he talks to - including me! I think you did exactly the right thing with your daughter. x

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I agree - we have never let CJ or Connor get away with stuff like that. Sure, they get argumentative and use a TONE I'm not crazy about but there are lines they just dont cross.

CJ seems to be adjusting well to the Air Force so we must have done something right!


Dawn said...

Good job turning that into a learning experience and thanks for sharing the recipe- sounds yummy.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I was raised with very strict rules regarding how I was to talk to my parents. When I heard the way my friends talked to their parents I didn't need a lecture from my mom, I was so embarrassed for my friends for sounding so awful that there was no way that I would repeat their actions. when my children have tried to get away with that kind of language I just give them an intese stare and say, "Excuse me, WHAT did you just say to me?" and that makes them back track REAL fast.

Irene said...

Wow, yeah, can you imagine talking to MOM that way?

I am curious to see who the "friend" was.

And I tagged you for a meme. I still need to do your tag.

Zoe said...

ugg. teens. i can't even go there tonight. the drink sounds yummy and so sweet of your hubby.

Kellan said...

Yes - they are outta control - some of them! I am a pretty strict mom and my kids are aware that I don't even tolerate stuff when it comes to their friends and their friends must know this, because they are always to respectful to me - most of them. And if they are not - my girls hear about it when their friends leave. Their friends (lots of them) are always coming to our house and I love having them around, but I am always looking for how they act with me, with each other and in any sort of other interaction and I am always reporting my findings to my kids. I'm just going to keep on doing it - it's the right thing for us moms to do. Good for you and I feel so sorry for that poor dad! Take care and see you later. Kellan

Kellan said...

BTW - that was very nice and romantic of your sweet husband to make you that delicious coffee!

Bia said...

I, too, am shocked how some children speak to their parents. Our boys would be grounded, for sure. Good for you for taking this opportunity to point out an example of poor behavior to you daughter, and good for her for recognizing it, too!

That recipe sounds yummy. A few days before Christmas my husband, who does not drink coffee, ventured into a Starbucks to purchase one of those cute tree ornaments for me. When the workers found out he doesn't drink coffee, they gave him a huge cup for FREE. I guess they were trying to convert him, or something. It didn't work, though, because he just brought it home for me. God bless.

Karen said...

I will have to show your blog to my daughter. At nearly 13, she's convinced that she's the only teen in the world who has rules, limits and curfews. I, too, would have raised an eyebrow at that kind of behavior.

And thank you SO MUCH for the Starbucks imitation recipe. That's my fave drink and if I can clone it at home I'd be in heaven.

Amy said...

It's good to see that her friends behavior didn't influence her at all. That means you're doing a great job. I don't let me kids speak to me (or any adult) for that matter disrespectfully. On the rare occasion they "test" the rule or slip they get grounded.

denise said...

You should have heard how my nephew talked to me today. He basically told me I was stupid. I can't even imagine talking to my mother like that. Needless to say, I ratted him out to his mother. It sounds like she has been having the same issues with him. He is very disrespectful. Now his sister is great! I have nver had an issue with her when she stays with me. So the questions is how can one child be so disrespectful and the other one turn out extremely polite?! It has to be the company they keep.

Becky said...

You go, mom! You are so right. As parents, we do need to wisely choose our battles, and I think that you wisely chose that one. Not only for your daughter's sake (as a learning/teaching opportunity), but for the friends sake as well. Sometimes as good parents, we also have the opportunities to speak truths into other kids lives, too, in ways that might never occur in their lives otherwise. Good for you, taking the opportunity as it came.

That was VERY sweet of your hubby to do for you. I, too, am a huge fan of the Peppermint Mochas, but I prefer them as Frappucinos. That sounds so good, I might just go out and whip some of those up myself!