No Kissing the Girls!

Anyone who knows my 7 year old, whom I often refer to as my spirited child, will attest that he is the most different of my kids. It's hard to even explain it. His favorite thing in the world to do is games, video games, board games, and outside games. He HATES music and singing. If The Wiggles come on TV, he closes his eyes and covers his ears until it's over. He loves me SO much. He'll hug and kiss me all I want, but NOT anyone else. Well, he'll hug Dad, but doesn't want a prickly kiss from him. No one else can kiss him. He covers his eyes if there's kissing on TV. When he found out his uncle was getting married he said, "Oh no! I don't want to see them kiss!". He hates girls. Before school started he told me he hoped there weren't going to be any girls in his class!

So, this morning, on the way to school, I had an interesting conversation with him. He was telling me how one of the boys in his class who lives by us had a roller skating birthday party and didn't invite him. "That's OK, though", he said. "He doesn't have to invite everyone." Wow, I was impressed he took it so well. So then I asked him who he does play with now at recess:

Son: "Uh, we just play a game."

Me: "What do you play?"

Son: "Oh, I don't want to talk about it."

Me: "Why?"

Son: "Because I just don't."

Me: "Is it something bad?"

Son: "Why does everyone think that?"

Me: "Because why would you not want to tell me?"

Son: "Mom, what would you do if I kissed a girl?"

Me: (WHAT?) "Uh, you'd be in trouble! Why? Did you?"

Son: "No. It's something someone did to me."

Me: "Did a girl hug you?"

Son: "No. It's nothing."

Me: "Just tell me!"

Son: "Well... A girl hit me in the head at recess. We were just playing."

Me: Whew! "Did anyone get in trouble, and did you get hurt?"

Son: "No."

By now it was time for him to get out of the car. He never ceases to amaze me. But I still wonder, what was he talking about? He's my different child!

Pinewood Derby

My 7 year old, the spirited child, announced this year that he wanted to join the Boy Scouts. "Are you sure?", we kept asking him. "Yes!", he told us. "But you have to go to meetings all the time and do good deeds and help your community!" "Yes!", he responded over and over again. My husband and I were not thrilled with another activity to add to our schedule. My son is not one for sitting still and listening to meetings. He'd rather be playing video games, watching TV, or playing a game of Kick the Can or baseball, not doing good deeds for others. We finally decided to let him try it. The worst that could happen would be that he hates it and quits. We also decided it might even be good for him (if he would actually do what they wanted him to do).

We bought my son the uniform (and warned him beforehand that he'd have to wear one) and he loved it! They told him he had to read the book. He wanted to stay up late with dad reading it! They told him how to earn his badges. He's so proud of himself whenever he earns a new one! Well, I guess he showed us! He loves the Boy Scouts. Good for you son!

Now, I grew up with just one sister. I did the Brownies and Girl Scout thing, but never knew much about Boy Scouts. My husband said they have to make a car for the Pinewood Derby race and race his car. Isn't that dangerous? Isn't that expensive to make? Isn't that HARD to make. Well, it was only a little hard to make:

Oh! Is that what you meant? I guess I was thinking SOAP box derby? Isn't that where you make a big car out of a box and actually ride in it? OK. I guess it's not very dangerous. Shows how little I know about the boy scouts! So far he recycled newspapers to earn money for his scouts, visited a huge pumpkin farm, saw a presentation from a real Indian tribe member, and this weekend we will visit the children's museum to learn about multicultural day. It's been a great thing for my "spirited child".

Now this is funny. I have a friend who has a son in my son's class. He asked her is he could be in the Boy Scouts, too. "No!", she said. "Why not?, asked her son. "Because I don't like the boy scouts." "Why don't you like the Boy Scouts?", I asked her. "Because I don't like them." OK? You don't like the Boy Scouts? She didn't say something like she didn't think her son would like it, or she just didn't have the time for it. How can you not like a group that is trying to teach kids how to be good citizens? Oh well. That's my friend for you.

"Had a Bad Day"

As I've written about before, my 7 year old just HATES school. This morning my 11 year old felt sick and I told him he could stay home. Well, suddenly 7 year old gets very upset. Why does he get to stay home? Then he has every excuse why HE should stay home, too.

"Do you know what will happen if I let you stay home from school too many times? They'll put me in jail!"

"That's dumb."

I very calmly told him he had to go to school. He started crying. I ran upstairs to take my shower. He followed me up the stairs.

"I have a fever! Can you at least take my temperature?"

I felt his head.

"You don't have a fever. Go brush your teeth."

Boo Hoo!!!

Out of all 4 of my kids, he hates school the most, always has. My 14 year old loves it. She didn't want to miss another day being sick. My 11 year old can take it or leave it. He loves his bus ride, a few of his teachers, and getting all A's. Even my 3 year old likes to play school all the time. She picks out her book bag in every store we're at. Seven year old - just plain HATES it. I really feel sorry for him. I know I wouldn't want to have to go to a job every day that I hated.

Every morning, I try to be as cheerful as I can. I wake him up early enough, so he's not rushed and has a little time for himself. I pick out clothes that are his favorites - comfy sweatpants and a hoodie. I make him hot cocoa with his breakfast. I try not to ever say the words, "Hurry up!". I cheerfully tell him to have a good day as he gets out of the car. All these things really help. But today, nothing was helping, knowing that his favorite big brother was home.

"What if I have a cough?"

"Then you'll just be coughing in school."

"What if I get diarrhea?"

"You won't!"

I had to put his shoes on myself. I had to zip his jacket. He just stood there sobbing. The whole way to school he just sobbed. As we pulled up to the doors he wiped his tears and blew his nose.

"You just want him to stay home with you so you can play games with him all day!"

"Don't be ridiculous. Besides, I'm going to take him to school today when he feels a little better."

"He better be at school when I get home or I'm going to be mad."

Or he's going to be mad? Is that me talking? I need to watch my words better! I hate dropping him off at school like this. I wanted to keep him home because I felt so bad for him, but what would that teach him? Poor thing.

When I got back home, I emailed his teacher and explained to her about why he looked the way he did today. She messaged me back and told me they had a nice calm day planned: watching Frosty the Snowman in the morning (he likes that, good) and listening to Christmas music in the afternoon. Christmas music? He hates music about as much as he hates school! He covers his ears and shuts his eyes sometimes. Maybe I should have kept him home!

I guess he's going to be "mad" anyway when he gets home. Big brother never made it to school.

The Kids Are Fighting! (again)

Today was the last day off of school for my kids from their Thanksgiving break. I actually love it when they're home. They talk to me all day. They want me to play games and watch movies with them. I truly enjoy being with all 4 of them.

Today was not as fun as I usually like it to be. I had a ton of things to do (go to the library, the bank, piles of laundry, make some phone calls, etc). This is when the problems started. I gave each of them a job to do. 13 year old - clean up the kitchen, 11 year old - pick up his room and basement, 7 year old - pick up his room and the basement, also, and 3 year old - help clean up the basement. Then I went to go on some errands. My phone rings, "Mom, everyone's fighting and no one's cleaning up!" "OK", I try to say as quietly as I can in the library, "Tell (11 year old) to finish cleaning up and you play a game with (3 year old)". "OK. Can we make brownies?" "YES!" I figured it would give them something to do that wouldn't involve fighting.

I got home, not too bad. Everything was pretty clean, but, evertime I went to do another job of mine, FIGHTING! 3 year old is screaming in the basement. 7 year old is teasing her.

I decided to take a breath and play with 3 year old. It's amazing how good they are when you give them your complete attention and play with them. But, how do you get anything done? OK, everything is calmed down now, back to making dinner. More fighting! Do you ever have a day that you can't wait until all the kids are in bed asleep and the house is quiet? I couldn't wait today. This was suppose to be our fun day!

I hate to call 7 year old difficult. It sounds so negative. I prefer spirited. It's a prettier word. It seems like the fighting matches always happen to be in the room that he is in! TIME FOR BED!

At the end of the night, husband grabs the 3 year old and heads off to bed. I got the 7 year old. Hurry up. Don't do that. It's late. Get in bed. We finally are actually getting the kids IN their beds. I take a deep breath, "OK, do you want to read to me tonight? I'll find a book for you." The spirited child replies, "No mom. I want you to read me a Bible story." My frustration is gone. The kid who was driving me crazy all day wants me to read his favorite Bible stories to him! "Yes, I can read two." Gotta love him! This is when I sit back and think about what went wrong today, and make sure tomorrow will be better.