Good Coaches, MEAN coaches

I ran into one of my daughter's old basketball coaches a couple days ago. He coached her for 5 years in one of the leagues she played for. This was the last year that basketball was available to the girls and asked why she wasn't playing. I told him she just didn't enjoy it enough. She liked it, but didn't have the passion.

We really liked this coach. He was one of the good ones. He'd fool you by his looks, though. He's a big guy, a police officer, a high school football coach, doesn't smile very much, and has a mean look about him. He NEVER yelled at the girls. He went out of his way to find places to practice. He even has offered to take my daughter to the practices if we couldn't take her. I took him up on that a few times. His daughter played on the team and he told me that you just can't treat the girls like the boys on his football team. The only time I really saw him upset was when the coach or players from another team were being mean. Anyone should feel lucky to have a coach like this.

One team my daughter played basketball for had a mean coach. Mean was even an understatement. He screamed at the girls during the game. He would sub a girl out during the game, scream in her face about whatever she was doing wrong, then send them back out to play. One girl in particular was yelled at so much, that she use to go back out on the court and couldn't even think straight. When the games were over, his shirt would be drenched with sweat, and he wasn't even playing! Every parent didn't care for him. I tried to reassure my daughter that when he yelled at her, everyone felt bad for her. I also told her to use this as a learning experience. There are people like this in the world, unfortunately, and you just have to do the best to live through it. Don't take it personally.

My husband coaches the younger kids in baseball. He treated each kid with respect. He wanted the kids to have fun, and learn, too. He's had experiences with mean coaches. At the first Tball game, my husband asked the other coach if they wanted to pitch to the kids because his team was ready for it. They agreed, but the coach came up to him at the end of the game and said, in front of everyone, that he "strong-armed" him into pitching, and that he thought they were playing Tball (!). My husbands mouth fell open. He really tries hard to get along with everyone and was shocked at how this coach was talking to him. We even called the Tball commissioner after the game to see if pitching was OK. He reassured us that we were doing it perfectly right. You can practice hitting off the tees during the practices, and work your way into pitching to them.

Now, one more story, my son, luckily has had only great coaches. During basketball sign ups we knew of one coach who many people have said that's the ONLY team they DON'T want their son to be on. "Really?", I said. I knew this guy a little. He's very involved in boys sports. I've talked to him about how he thinks kids should be able to play more than one sport in high school if they want, and I agreed with him. Come to think of it, he DID tell me that the girls basketball teams aren't serious at all, only the boys are. And you're saying this to someone who is signing up both a girl and a boy? Well I saw him in action a couple weeks ago. My son's team played his team. My son had to guard his son. I noticed him pushing my son throughout the whole game. After the game my son said, "Did you hear him swearing at me?". "No, I didn't. Did his dad hear him?" "He had to have! Everyone heard him!" Weird, huh. I guess he's just the kind of dad who wants his son to be a big tough bully. Oh, and after the game, that boy came up to my son and told him to meet him out in the parking lot (as if to fight him). My son just told him, "Yah, OK."

So when I ran into this old basketball coach, he said he saw my son at one of the dances and asked if he plays football. My son is a big kid. He's even starting to lift weights. I told him no, but he wants to. He told me he's going to be the new football coach for the 7th and 8th grade team and he'll call us. I told him he's not much of a runner since he had a super bad case of pneumonia when he was 5. He told me that he could find a place for him. I thought that was pretty nice.

So why do some coaches feel the need to be so mean? Maybe they're not trying to be mean. Maybe that's just the way they are. They can't control their tempers. Feel lucky if your kids have one of those nice coaches.

I'm learning to play the guitar! Guitar Hero, that is. I told my kids I was not going to buy the game for them. I couldn't understand why they would want such an expensive game anyway. So, the kids sold some of their old games and put their money together and bought it themselves. I'm SO glad they did! Boy is it fun! At first I thought it was a real guitar, and that I would never be able to play the game. It's really not that hard. After just a couple tries I could play it, even on medium, I might ad! I never knew I had it in me. Now, The Scorpions were never my favorite, but after playing Rock You Like a Hurricane, I'm beginning to enjoy it! It's kind of like like the saying you just have to give something a try and be open minded. I wish we had two guitars so we could play two players at the same time. That's me playing the game at 11:30 last night. I was so tired that I even had a headache. I hope I can find time to play again today!

Well, today should be an interesting day. My 7 year old has his first basketball game, and it's been a long haul getting there. I signed both of my sons up at the same time, on one paper. I wrote one check. They went to tryouts and the coaches said they would call them and tell us when the first practice would be. Well we waited a long time. My husband said there were tons of kids in the 7 year old group trying out and that the coach said it would be a long time before he called us.

Well, after a long time we still didn't get a call. My older son got his call and already started practices and had a few games. My husband assured me, don't worry, he said it would be a while before they called. I figured they must be having two groups of teams playing since there were so many kids this year. I decided to ask my neighbor who's son is in my son's age group. I asked her if she heard from her basketball coach yet. She told me she had but they only had one practice and three games so far. ONLY?

Well, I started to make some calls. I called the basketball commissioner's cell phone. No answer. I left him a message to call me back. The weekend was coming up and I didn't want my son to miss another game! I called him again the next day, left another message. I called him back a few days later. He finally answered but it was very loud wherever he was. He told me he'd find out who the coach was and call me back. Now the weekend was over and my son had probably missed another game! I called him back, (you know the drill) no answer, left a message. A few days later, still no call back. Frustration is building. Steam would start to come out of my ears every time I thought about it!

OK, now I'm starting to act like a private investigator. I got on the website to see who else I could call. I called my neighbor, who's also a coach, and asked him who I could call. He said the commissioner. But he doesn't return calls! How many times do I have to call him! What if I call someone else who's name is listed on the website? My neighbor said they'll just tell me to call the commissioner. All right, I called the coach, again. (Same thing.)

Well, I decided to call some other names. I looked up everyone's name in the phone book. The first guy, not home. The second guy, BINGO! He had a listing of all the coaches and their phone numbers! He gave me our coaches name and number. I called the coach and he actually answered. He said he didn't have our phone number listed and our last name was spelled wrong. I know I wrote our number down at sign ups and I know I didn't spell our last name wrong! He said he called the commissioner and he told him he had no information about us, so the commissioner said they'll just have to wait for us to call them. Wait for us to call them! Didn't he tell him I called him SIX times! No. My husband coaches baseball in this organization, too. He told me they only had two practices and three games so far. ONLY?

So anyway, here's where we're at now. My son is going to his 1rst game today. He's never met the coach before. He doesn't know anyone on his team. He doesn't have the team shirt. He's never played basketball before so he doesn't know ANYTHING at all. He's played in our driveway, can dribble and shoot. He doesn't know positions, how to do a layup, how to play with two hoops, how to guard, where to stand, the rules, NOTHING! He's starting to panic. We're going to try to work with him a little today, but there's snow on the driveway, so we'll have to work in the garage or something. Should be an interesting game! I hope he's not too disappointed. At the very least, we ARE getting reimbursed our money.

Sorry Son

Son did not make the bball team. I feel so bad for him. Everyone wants their kids to do well in everything they do, and you hate to see them so sad. I told him it's probably for the best. He requires a lot of sleep (about 10-11 hours a day). He's trying hard to do well in school. He also doesn't like to be too busy. His school is being renovated this year so he now is bussed to a different school. His grade, grade 6, has the longest school hours because they are sharing the buses. He goes to school earlier, and gets home later. By Friday he is whooped. He goes strait to his room, climbs in bed, and watches tv by himself. I'm sure it's for the best that he didn't make it. Sorry son.

Busy Schedules

Our 13 and 11 year olds just finished their season of cross country. Meets were Thursdays and Saturdays. Practices for daughter were Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Practices for son were Tuesdays and Thursdays. It was fun, but I was glad to have some of my time back again. Just as I was counting the money I'd be saving in gas, 11 year old calls from school:

"Mom? Did you remember me telling you today is basketball tryouts?"

"No."

"Well I did. Can you pick me up at 5:30?"

"Sure!"

It's nice to watch your kid play a sport, but it's not too fun for the 7 and 3 year olds. I'm also not one to over schedule my kids. I don't feel like they HAVE to play a sport. I want them to have time to just play outside with their friends. I guess when you have 4 kids, if they just play 1 sport at a time, it's a full schedule for me. I told my son it's not the end of the world if he doesn't make the team. He said he didn't care if he got cut, but he really wants to make the team! My 7 year old does boy scouts and intramural basketball. My 11 year old already plays intramural basketball. How do you NOT have a busy schedule?

Son made it through the first cut today. Tomorrow he finds out if he makes the team. Wish him luck! (AND ME!)